However, for now - he says that he doesn't think a relationship will work because of his condition and that he just wants to be his "old self" referring to who he identifies himself to be before this depressive episode. I've made it clear to him that I refuse to rush him or pressure him in to anything, and if the time comes that he feels ready, we will progress from there. I still love him so much and I try my best to show him support and unconditional love, without smothering, because he is so important to me and he is my favourite person in the entire world.
So, with all of that being said, does anyone have any advice on how to be there for him, without putting any strains or pressures on him? For example, I like to take him to dinner and send him cute pictures of dogs that make him laugh. Things like that :. Welcome here to the Forum. You sound a lovely and sensible person, and your ex-bf is lucky you care so much for him. I'm afraid I'm not going to be the bearer of much news you did not suspect - and are acting on already.
All the measures you have taken, no pressure, keeping it light, amusement are really great and as far as I can see, without knowing your BF, the best you can do. It is an unfortunate fact that those with a mental illness such as depression have to want help they need in order to get better. He is the one that has to see a GP, be tested and in due course, if appropriate, given a Heath Plan, subsidized visits to a psychologist for therapy, and possibly meds.
Gently trying to steer him in that direction may be possible - I don't know how that would be taken. Pointing out that trying to soldier on alone is not a good idea may help too. I personally would not have improved to the level I'm at now without such help. Are you the only person who might have influence over him - or is there someone else he might take notice of like a parent or friend you could discuss the matter with?
Continue to let him know - without crowding - that you are going to keep on supporting him is probably the most you can do unless things change. Women are much better at seeking help as a rule. Firstly, your own needs and health after the breakup is a priority not to be overlooked. Talking with good friends, family and your own GP is often the first step. Since your grief is complicated with your concern over your Ex. Your description highly suggests your Ex has Depression and Alcohol Misuse.
Not sure if he has had Depression a while? Sometimes leading him to fact sheets or websites with self rating questionnaires can be a private way for men to check their symptoms against some standardised measure. Focusing on healthy lifestyle with exercise, diet and low alcohol to "get fit" can also be a way some men will respond. There maybe a friend he could train with also? You must be a Health Professional to answer this question.
Log in or Sign up. Why don't antidepressants work on me? What is the relationship between depression and spinal cord injury? I do not see that getting therapy will help me and I do not think I want to? Learn More. New to HealthShare? Sign Up. Forgot your password? To keep HealthShare free for Members, Sponsors provide financial support to assist with the running costs associated with the services we provide, including site maintenance and continued development, hosting etc.
In addition, Sponsors provide thought-leadership and expertise. The Sponsor does not control, review or moderate any other areas in HealthShare. Change email Send verification. We have sent you a verification email. Please check your inbox and spam folder. Related Topics. In reflecting on a breakup, we often begin to recognize how we can improve as people and as partners.
Have compassion for yourself: Even if a breakup is the right decision, disentangling the complexly intertwined lives and minds of two people is rarely easy. You can find out more about her research here. First Person is Vox's home for compelling, provocative narrative essays.
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Reddit Pocket Flipboard Email. They change the way we see ourselves One of the most blissful parts of falling in love is getting so close to someone that you feel as though you are almost merging. They alter our biological rhythms As we become attached to a partner, he or she starts to have a powerful influence on our thoughts, our feelings — and our physiology. Breakups are even harder when the relationship was highly committed Commitment is an invaluable resource for a relationship.
What can we do about it? Give yourself permission to get angry Breakups almost never trigger just one emotion. Think and talk it out One perfectly reasonable reaction to a breakup is to try to think about it as little as possible a goal often made easier by a few mezcal shots or a marathon screening of Friends. Avoid your ex — strategically The urge to keep in touch with an ex can be powerful. Next Up In First Person.
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